The pivotal point--Solstice

Solstice...the shadow of night and the dawn of day. After that, the night begins to shorten and the daylight lasts longer, bit by bit.  And so, as I do every year, I engage in releasing the parts of myself that have hindered me over the past year--the things that have come to light in my awareness. 

Releasing isn't always easy. I find that most of me wants to release and yet there is this part of me--the darker aspect of my soul--that wants to cling to these things. Why? Familiarity, I suppose or perhaps cowardice. It's easier to remain with what's familiar even if I know it no longer serves me well...or worse, is downright destructive. I notice we carry false beliefs like our own children, feeding them, nourishing them, guiding them...we adopt them as part of who we are...although they aren't.

Nonetheless, the winter solstice comes and I inwardly search my soul, viewing my willingness to release, and becoming aware of the effort it will take. It should be effortless. I walk myself through the process of making it effortless...it's all part of releasing what hinders. The mere fact it takes effort is something that needs released as well.

I carefully choose exactly how and what to release, as words have power and I find I usually get exactly what I intend. Being precise matters--a lot.  I'm mindful not to choose too many things--more than I can handle at one time. Release is usually rapid and Life responds with situations that demand me to act on the new found truth of my being.

This year, I gently and effortlessly, naturally release the false belief of money making people mean and selfish. It doesn't. I know that. I gently, effortlessly release my fear of money making me forget who I am. I won't.  

I effortlessly, gently release my fear of not being truly heard or seen in a positive light, especially in regard to my family, my writing, and in my business endeavors. (Merely writing this is a test of willingness to release that very thing, as I blow away the urge to backspace it all. This very act enables--I almost wrote, 'coerces'--me to be visible and I feel raw...like the tree in winter.)

Solstice is also a time for me to accept the newness that I intend for my life, just as daylight grows longer bit by bit. Again, I'm careful how I choose my words. Writing intensifies  the intention and creates some incredible movement in my life. It's odd how it works. But I know if I write it, it will be--exactly as I've written.

What newness will I accept? I've been spiralling around this for the past two days now. My life is so full and more often than not, I'm truly happy inside...a deep happiness...I'm truly grateful for the way my life flows. It's a true dance of my spirit. I'm content for the most part.

The real question then, I realize while typing, is what newness will come from releasing those aspects of my shadow self and how can I channel that newness into useful, positive things?  I have abundance in so many areas of my life! I'm truly blessed. 

In answer to the above question:

I intend to naturally, gracefully and with wisdom, accept positive flowing abundance into all aspects of my life, including financial abundance, always in keeping with who I am and the Highest Good for my family, as well as others.

I intend to not hesitate out of fear and wisely act on the creative ideas and inspirations that support who I truly am, result in positive outcomes for others as well, especially in regards to writing and business.

I intend to be visible in a positive light and not personalize the rejection of such, as it's what flows through me, not from me, that

(start over...correct wording is essential. I won't intend rejection. lol)
I intend to be visible and heard in a positive light when I am living my own truth, being who I was born to be, and acting, speaking with integrity. Moreover, I naturally accept being visible and heard.

I gratefully, naturally, and peacefully accept the freedom these ways of thought and being will bring into my life.

I don't think I'm ready to accept love (of the romantic version) from another person and I'm not willing to release what's inside that holds me from letting go, however. And it remains a quandary for me. I suspect it's painful but I'm so numb inside I don't feel it. Some part of my heart is locked away...far far away...so far I don't even know where it is or even with what key I used...but this is for another time, another day. I'm rambling...things are churning inside.

I've written enough for one night. :) May your holiday be filled with great blessings and may you notice them all and drink them into your heart and soul! Know that you so richly deserve it all!