The Tempest of Time

Time seems to have gotten away from me these past few weeks.  I'm not a timekeeper. I don't look at the clock often, unless I absolutely have to. There's a degree of freedom in that.  I rule time, it doesn't rule me.

However, there are moments when a day to me could be as long as two or as brief as an hour. Weeks could seem like a year or mere days. The furious speed of time is usually my indicator that I've moved too far away from myself--from my center.  I've moved into the winds of the tornado that whirls around me with all its debris and chaos; howling winds so loud I can't hear my own inner voice.  

I'll feel it internally...I will feel out of sync, as if something vague is plaguing my soul but I'm unable to see the menace. I'm out of balance.  Often, it will take my own body sending the reminder to move into the center of the tempest. By that point, I'm already sucked into the vaccum of the external realm, into the demands of others--or self-perceived demands of others.  Slowly and with arduous effort, I pull myself out of it and into the calm. 

Every once in a while, I'll get a gentle reminder from a friend or family member to reconnect with my center. That is an incredible blessing because it comes before my body goes into rebellion.

It's only here, in that sacred silence, the stillness of the soul that I have true discernment. It's here that I can guage what are my own expectations, what are perceived expectations others may have...

I read that segment again: what are perceived expectations others may have?  I have to question myself if they really have those expectations of me at all? Most likely not.

I know the people in my life and I know they accept that I have responsibilities, a life of my own, dreams of my own. They also know and understand that it's vital for me to take time for myself, to be introspective, to center, to be a silent witness in my own life and soul. They know I love them and I know they love me.

So I wonder, where exactly do the perceived expectations come from?  It's something I must explore and free myself from.

I hear an echo way down deep in the dark chasms of my soul. It's so distant and muffled, I can't recall. Some demons we lock away and starve, will still scream from time to time. The screaming reverberates through our daily life in both blatant and subtle ways.  I think I need some metaphysical duct tape for them.

Thank you, Al for the reminder! I'm so grateful to you for that! Once again, I return to myself, return to words of Inner Truth that flow from the depths of my soul. Once again, I center and regain my control over time rather than its control over me.